The Conversational Process: verbal and non-verbal messages

In this part we focus on the verbal and nonverbal message systems. We cover some of the ways verbal and nonverbal messages interact and the nature of meaning and messages.

Here we introduce the message system, the system we use to communicate meaning to another person. The message system comprises both a verbal and a nonverbal part. The verbal portion is language – the words, phrases, and sentences we use. The nonverbal portion consists of a wide variety of elements – spatial relationships, time orientation, gestures, facial expressions, eye movements, touch, and variations in the rate and volume of our speech.

In face-to-face communication you blend verbal and nonverbal messages to best convey your meanings. Here are six ways in which nonverbal messages are used with verbal messages.

Complementing. Nonverbal communication may add nuances of meaning not communicated by our verbal message. Thus, we might smile when telling a story (to suggest that we find it humorous) or frown and shake your head when recounting someone’s deceit (to suggest your disapproval).

Contradicting. You may deliberately contradict your verbal messages with nonverbal movements – for example, by crossing your fingers or winking to indicate that you are lying.

Regulating. Movements may be used to control, or to indicate your desire to control, the flow of verbal messages, as when you purse your lips, lean forward, or make hand gestures to indicate that you want to speak. You might also put up your hand or vocalize your pauses (for example, with “um”) to indicate that you have not finished and are not ready to relinquish the floor to the next speaker.